I'm Not A Glamorous Mum

I have always wanted to be one of those glamorous mums you see, the ones who have time to work out, wear nice clothes and have perfect makeup.

I know the grass ain't always greener on the other side. But they seem to always have their shit together. Me on the other hand, well i'm lucky to even get out of my pj's every couple days. You see i'm one of those women who had two baby's so close together that I literally cant get anything done. 1 year and 3 days apart to be exact. Now don't get me wrong I love them both to pieces and wouldn't change it for the world but holy shit its hard. My first child decided I wasn't comfortable enough to stay full term, and thought a week before my baby shower was a good time to arrive. Well that itself threw a spanner in the works, first baby, 7 weeks early, almost two months in hospital and next thing you know i'm knocked up again. Not like we were being silly. We used protection!! But my son was meant to be apparently and he decided I was too comfortable. Wasn't nothing bringing him out any time soon, and boy did he love kicking my ribs in. I could wait to have him in my arms and out of my rib cage. So because the kids are at that wonderful age of 15 months and 3 months iv got my hands full, like constantly. I max out at 4 hours sleep per night. So there ain't no way this mumma bear is in any way put together enough to dress nice and do makeup. And working out... Yeah right haha, I think with the amount of times I walk up and down the stairs should count but it doesn't. It would be great if running late was a form of exercise. Before I met hubby and had kids I was always a person to be 15-30 mins early for everything, didn't matter what it was, well that's gone out the window as it takes roughly 3 hours to get us all showered, dressed, fed and packed up to go anywhere now days. Hubby has no time management and honestly I don't know how he made it through life before me. He never knows where his keys, or phone or even bloody underwear are. I swear i'm raising 3 kids half the time

Don't even get me started on shaving either. All I can say is thank god for jeans. I think the last time I shaved my legs or any other area was over 3 weeks ago when I was in the mood to try hubby for some alone time. Needless to say my wonderfully inconvenient inconsiderate children, who I love dearly, used their 6th sense and knew to both wake up from their naps and ruin the moment. Again I wouldn't change it for the world, but how the hell do kids just know? like I mean we only try for alone time once in a blue moon and without a doubt they put their foot down to stop us.

Another thing to add to my long list of not being a put together mum is this. hubby and I spend so much time with our beloved, blue ball causing, tantrum throwing, defying the laws of being tired and needing sleep children, that we talk to each other like we do the kids now. Like honestly no adult style conversations for us, its "you wants narnee bread for yummy's darling" which translate to adult as " would you like to have some banana bread for breakfast my beautiful wife."Does my baby needz some cuggles which translate to "would you like a hug?" Like seriously doesn't matter the topic, we talk to each other the same was we talk to the kids. Even with the same high pitch annoying as hell baby talk tone of voice.
Like how the hell in this life time or the next am I suppose to act like a full grown woman with her shit together, when I don't even have a spare 5 minutes to shave my legs, never get out of my pyjamas. which mind you consists of any pants that fit my beautifully misshapen post 2 baby's in a year body, and hubby's shirts to hide my tiger stripped mum pouch tummy. I cant even stand in the bathroom to even consider putting on makeup without miss 15 month old hanging off my leg. Like I tried once, ever stabbed yourself in the eye with mascara brush, yeah not fun!! I couldn't see properly for 2 days. Needless to say I don't even consider attempting that shit again because as mentioned before, little miss with her 6th sense knows that, if I even think of the word makeup, its time to swings off my leg making the situation too dangerous to attempt. As for going out into public, if two grown ass adults cant even talk to each other like normal people, how the hell am I meant to seem like a put together mum when i'm at the checkout, with miss 15 month old having a tantrum because I made the stupid mistake of walking past the toy isle without buying every dam toy for her "like she needs any more." And Mr 3 month old is hungry for boobs again because it took us so dam long to get out our front door, and I cant just whip em out there and then for him in front of everyone. So no, I don't think I will ever be a perfect put together mum, but the truth is that my kids come first, they are happy and healthy and even though I cant even have a shower without two kids staring at my wonderfully stretch marked body, they know they are both loved. So I will continue to be the mum who has no time, doesn't dress well, doesn't shave or dare to attempt makeup, because i'm not trying to impress anyone with how I look, only with how I am. And that is a loving devoted mother of two very young hands on kids.

So comment and let me know if you are a put together mum and tell me how the hell you manage it, and if your not. then welcome to the club. I will try to order some jackets.

Don't forget to check out my last few blogs
"Hidden Veggie's For The Win"
"First Birthday Mishap"
"Mini Foods For This Kid"

And as miss 15 month old likes to say,


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